These days there seem to be a lot of Internet lists and guides offering advice to couples on how to handle the officiant interview and what to expect from the interview. After reading these lists I’ve come to the conclusion that many of them are not written by actual officiants so I thought it might be a good idea to offer advice from the source.
The goal of the initial meeting should be a meet and greet between both parties of the wedding couple and the officiant. The three of you may have corresponded via email and spoken over the phone but nothing beats face-to-face communication.
Speaking for myself, the initial meeting is always complimentary and should take about 30 minutes to an hour. I usually have the couple to meet with me at a Starbucks or Panera Bakery that is within 10-15 miles of my home but easy to get to and with plenty of parking. If weather permits we can even meet at a public park.
Prior to our meeting I will provide you with a ceremony design questionnaire and a couple’s history questionnaire to complete and bring with you. During the meeting we will discuss the answers to your questions and your vision for your wedding so that together we can co-create a ceremony that reflects who you are as a couple. I will show you samples of weddings that I have done to give you a glimpse of my writing style and you can tell me what, if any, poems, songs or readings you’d like incorporated into the ceremony.
You will be able to discuss with me the level of spirituality and religion that you want involved in your ceremony. I am personally more spiritual than religious and most of the couples that seek me out share my spiritual approach although this is not a necessity, I have created ceremonies for couples who want no mention of God, those that want Biblical reference but no particular form of religion and those who want to acknowledge their Higher Power without It being the focus of the ceremony
We will also discuss the particulars of your ceremony such as venue, theme and participation by family and friends. Do you need help with the processional and recessional? I can do that. Do you need me at the rehearsal? We will work on that. If we determine that we are a good fit for each other, you may place a reservation fee to secure my services for your date and I will get to work on your ceremony.
Remember that your ceremony will not be completed within the time limits of the initial meeting, it will be a collaborative effort conducted through consultations via email and telephone and we will work on it until we get it right,